Devotion and anchors in an answers year...

'There are years that ask questions and years that answer' - Zora Neale Hurston

Last year was deffo all about the questions: Where’s home? Who am I here? How is my work evolving? What am I ready to let go of? What wants to emerge?

Throw in two winters in a row, plus: covid and pneumonia and no bloody wonder I mostly felt overwhelmed and uncertain.

My word of the year for 2024 should totes have been ‘grappling’.

This year, I have been so ready for answers.

I had a metric shit-tonne of clarity that 2025 is all about building - specifically in three areas: my body, my book, and my business.

And because I don’t love the hero narrative that so many coaches use, here’s a window inside the messy middle of this process, three months in:

Body

I spent January thinking about my relationship with my body a lot.

If I want to create the healthiest, strongest body I can, what needs to change? Am I actually ready to do this? How will I take care of myself? How will I do this without falling down the rabbit hole?

I downloaded a calorie tracker app. There was a lot of advice from well-meaning Instagramers (most were just trying to flog a protein powder/ workout plan). There was a doco about the Sugar industrial complex that radicalised me through rage. I talked to my beloved pal Ali, and we decided to share our unvarnished conversations via the podcast (check out The Body Stories). I went on some walks. I realised I had no idea what I was doing.

So for the last month, I’ve been working with a coach. And having Sarah in my world has made an exponentially huge difference.

I am learning so much about how to fuel my body (turns out I wasn’t eating anywhere near enough) and how to move my body (strength training three times a week and walking every day).

I am surprised at how much I am enjoying this. Like most GenX women, I have a long history of dumb diets and dull cardio. But this is not that.

I am never hungry, so there is no ‘food noise’ which makes this super doable. It’s also a really slow process, AND I’m super impatient to lose weight and see muscle definition. Realistically, this is probably going to take a couple of years, so I’m trying to settle in for the long haul.

7/10

Business

Even though I moved countries and felt thoroughly discombobulated last year, my business was the steady little engine that could.

I tried some new things last year:

• updated the ‘about’ page on my website that I had moved to NZ got out of control and evolved into a full site rewrite (the first in years!). This gave me a tonne of fresh new energy.

• claiming my Supervision feather and wearing it in my cap! After a few years of formal training and experimenting with how to integrate supervision, I decided on a really lush approach to small group Supervision, and my Ripen programme sold out in a few weeks.

• created a new approach to develop a Single Session Coaching Offer that felt so aligned and fun, and dozens of thoughtful coaches joined in.

So I now have a really clear dual business: working with humans with self-doubt and supporting thoughtful coaches.

I’m in the middle of a project to make this distinction super clear and have loved working with Sarah from

Yes & Yes

and my beloved right-hand woman Kay. This should be complete by the end of April.

Self-belief School is also getting a makeover behind the scenes. After five years of guiding people through real, lasting transformation - healing from the past, letting go of self-judgment, finding love, starting businesses, connecting with joy and purpose - the next chapter of this programme is coming later this year (I already have the new name!).

8/10

Book

Penny Wincer

recently invited me to share a workshop with her fabulous writers membership The Fold, and we talked about how self-doubt shows up specifically for writers.

Penny said she set up The Fold because it was what she was craving, and bugger me if that workshop on ‘Writers Courage’ wasn’t exactly what I needed too!

So the book: I have the structure, a tonne of notes, the title, and its slooooowly coming together.

I also have a book proposal that I am super proud of, but I just don’t feel ready to put it out to agents yet.

My plan is to get a rough draft done so I know I can completely believe in my ability to write this book. It feels weird to me to sell the promise of a book - and I know that’s how the non-fiction process works - but I also know how I work, and I like to take my time and to let the thing breathe.

I might only ever write one book, so I’m in no rush to write something to an arbitrary deadline; instead, I want to let this unfold.

I know I could put more energy and time into this. And honestly, there are stories I have around being a good enough writer, and trying to ‘rejection-proof’ my draft so that I am ‘chosen’.

3/10

Which brings me back to ‘Devotion and Anchors’…

With these three focuses (foucii?!) I feel like I have at least two full-time jobs!

I am living through the montage scene in the movie, which is all about the repetitive tedium of trying to eat enough protein. No wonder it’s got an upbeat song and only lasts a few minutes.

But life inside the montage, feels really FULL right now. I experience a tonne of pride and joy on the daily. I have a little app that I tick off each item and those dopmine hits are real.

I am trying not to beat myself up with words like consistency and discipline - even though it looks the same from the outside - instead, devotion and anchors really work for me.

Am I willing to devote myself to these three dreams for as long as it takes? How can I create anchors in my day, in my week, to create the conditions for these dreams to flourish?

Here’s how this looks in practice:

Monday: Admin Day. Planning out social media for the week.

Tuesday: Sunrise breathwork and swim. Writing day. Afternoon gym.

Wednesday: Client sessions and creative projects.

Thursday: Client sessions and creative projects. Afternoon gym.

Friday: Admin. Record podcasts. Comfort Blankets. Afternoon off: fun times!

Saturday: 5km park run before breakfast.

Sunday: Afternoon gym. Evening yin yoga class at the community centre.

Daily: weighing and tracking macros, 7,000 steps over two dog walks, drinking two litres of water, evening stretches.

So yep, repetitive tedium, but also the makings of a joyful, meaningful life.