Getting my brave badge

This might be how we change the world.

An average morning in paradise…#donthateme

A few posts ago, I shared about the homesickness and loneliness I’ve been feeling lately. Even though (as per pic) this is actually paradise and all my needs are currently met.

But you know, just existing in the world right now can be hard.

And from your lovely shares in the comments, it seems that so many of us are homesick for another place, time, or person we used to be five-or-six-death-and-rebirth-cycles-ago.

Obviously, as a coach and therapist, I bloody love and highly rate the process of talking through the hard.

Having a trusted, compassionate person who can help us understand why a season of life feels so tricky, or why we seem to be resisting the changes we say we want, or supporting us to make decisions, or figure out our feelings and preferences, or just giving us some reassurance that we are doing a good job: this is my JAM.

AND I’ve found that we naturally reach the point where we know we’ve talked it out and some ideas about what to do with these insights begin to emerge.

At the end of our high street and the only route out of our end-of-peninsula suburb is an enormous retaining wall that holds up the houses on the hill above. It’s rendered in concrete and has become an unofficial community notice board. Public events are written on the wall in chalk. We have no need for any of that fancy marketing palava. #thisishowwetakedownZuck

So just after the last homesick post, I was driving home from the supermarket and saw the words ‘breathwork and swim’ scrawled on the wall.

It took another pass to see this was happening on Tuesday mornings at 6:30 ‘on the beach’ (NB: this detail is quite unhelpful because our whole suburb is ‘beach’ as previously mentioned: we on the end of a peninsula).

On a third drive-by, I spotted an Instagram handle, and further research revealed a photo from the breathwork practitioner’s account of a spot on the beach I recognised. PHEW.

So last Tuesday, I got to the beach spot early and sat in my car in the dark until women with yoga mats rocked up, and then I took a deep breath and went over to introduce myself.

We shared mugs of cacao under blankets with the edge of the Pacific a few metres from our feet. As a relative newbie, I find breathwork is amazing for being super present in my body, but it always makes me sob.

So as the sun rose and we came out of our meditation, I was quietly, awkwardly crying (why did I forget tissues?!) in my ‘galactic federation of light’ alien hoodie (why didn’t I just wear a plain sweatshirt?!).

But no one seemed to care at all about my awkward weirdness on display.

And then we stripped off and ran into the sea. We paddled around and chatted, quickly moving out of small talk (save me from conversations about the property market), and the sun rose, and I just felt so deeply grateful to be having this experience in actual real-life. Which made me tear up again, but I was in the sea, so it was FINE.

I met some women I really liked! The breathwork practitioner, a yoga teacher, and a counsellor who has just moved here from Sydney.

I went back again last week.

So it’s a thing I do now: meet up with women, breathe, sob, swim and chat (I suspect this is how we change the world).

Some of us are meeting up next week at a local cafe to co-work. I was invited to a Zumba class (I KNOW). And there is talk of a yin yoga class on Sunday evenings right through winter.

It turns out the cure for loneliness is *dramatic drum roll* connection.

The thing is, I always imagined my future self would totally do stuff like this. She was with me under that blanket on the sand, I think. Giving me a little high five from the great beyond. Thanking me for taking that one courageous step that brought her into being.

I feel like I should totally get a brave badge. #merch