'It's safe for me to trust I can honour my commitments'
Self-belief Journalling :: April 2025
I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that the entire universe is conspiring to support us with this month’s Self-belief Journalling theme of commitment! On Saturday, there is a New Moon Solar Eclipse - we step through a portal to the very beginning of the zodiac. This kind of cosmic reset only happens once every 164 years. It’s the freshest of fresh starts.
So lovely, what are you ready to commit to?
Over the last few months, I’ve been committing to creating a body my 82-year-old self will be proud of and grateful for. This began as a Very Tentative New Year’s Resolution, encouraged by Boris (not that one), my heart surgeon, who advised that even though my heart sitch is genetic, losing bodyfat is likely to reduce the burden on my heart and improve my energy.
I’ve always lived in a bigger body - these days very happily so. But extracting myself from diet culture and getting to a place of genuine contentment has been hard won.
The idea of committing to intentional weight loss felt really bloody crunchy (I may have had a couple of tantrums). AND as someone living with active heart failure, I want to do whatever I can to deepen the quality of my life, as well as prolong it. It has felt like these two sides have been wrestling within me.
BTW: If you want alllll the tea, do listen in to the latest podcast episode where I talk about this much more with my dear friend Ali Shapiro.
All to say, I am currently in the throes of a commitment that I didn’t ask for, and I’m astonished at how much this process is teaching me. I’m leaning into the exact approaches and tools that I coach with, and this has made everything so much more ease-filled than past me (trying to stick to a stupid juice diet).
This commitment has been slower and steadier. I’ve been Very Imperfectly keeping my promises to myself, knowing that no one else can do this for me, and the ideal conditions don’t exist. I’ve been asking for help and holding the process lightly.
The best part is how differently I feel - it’s not just about what I am doing, but how I am taking care of myself as I do this. Honestly - I have new levels of respect, pride and appreciation for myself.
Even though most of us have a sticky relationship with commitment, it really is one of the most effective ways to develop self-trust.
Thinking about commitment can make us doubt if we can truly follow through on the promises we make. Even the title of this post might have sparked memories of when you’ve been disappointed by past endeavours.
And particularly for anyone with a smidge of perfectionism, commitment can activate a tendency for taking an ‘all or nothing’ approach.
It can be helpful to remember that these aspects of self-doubt illustrate how much of a commitment pro you already are! You are just committed to protecting yourself from repeating past hurts.
This month’s Self-belief Journalling is about exploring your relationship with commitment.
I’ll share a super helpful psychological model that illustrates our self-doubt commitments; we’ll explore what you want to commit to and how to stay in relationship with this - so fun!
Just being willing to notice what comes up for you about commitment is the doorway to a much more flexible, human, and enjoyable way of growing self-trust.