The myth of necessary consistency

In spite of me, something seems to be happening...

I am currently hooked up to a heart monitor that I need to keep dry (the necessity of "camping showers" reminds me why I love not camping). We move house in a couple of sleeps (goodbye, cute but mouldy cottage). We’ve just relocated my mother-in-law to a new care facility, which meant purchasing a new room before her old one was sold (my hottest fantasy right now is about decoupling profit from elderly care).

The last few weeks have felt like they lasted for eleventy months.

Consequently, my writing routine has been sporadic, consisting of snatched moments in the early mornings, scribbled notes on post-its, and some nearly indecipherable ideas in my notes app. I’ve been utterly inconsistent.

However, even amidst the chaos of life, something like progress?? might be unfolding. I have a Google Doc with an outline of chapters arranged in a logical order. Each chapter has a structure, filled with notes on what to include. There are very few complete sentences yet—proper writing hasn’t begun.

But I can feel something happening. All these notes are helping me visualize how the chapters will take shape, existing in that in-between phase of almost-real but not quite.

Yesterday, I hosted a call with a group of wonderful humans - mostly creatives and business owners - who are each working on a courage-based goal (my method for bringing our dreams to life - and maybe the topic of my next book?! #getme).

We talked about how easy it is to forget that our goal is something we are actively working on. It just takes going a few days without making tangible progress becasue: life. And perhaps because our brains already have too much to process and retain, the focus, energy and attention required for a new project can easily evaporate.

The good news is that research on goals completely challenges the importance of consistency. Yay!

Some fun findings:

• Flexible goal pursuit often leads to waaaaay better outcomes than rigid consistency.

• People who adapt their approach or even abandon goals when circumstances change tend to report higher well-being.

• There is the brilliantly termed "what the hell effect" that demonstrates how strict consistency often backfires - that thing when you completely abandon the entire goal after one time break in a “perfect” streak of progress.

• Studies also found it can actually be more motivating to deliberately vary routines and approaches (particularly for health and creative related goals) to avoid feeling bored or stale. The boffins call this "strategic inconsistency".

One thing I am being consistent with is my relationship with this book. I can so clearly see it and imagine flicking through it that it almost seems odd to me that it doesn’t yet exist.

The last time I remember feeling this was in the months before I met Ash - imagining what my future unknown love might be doing and thinking and feeling at this moment. When we were eventually matched on (one of the first!) dating websites, 16 years ago, he felt like a future memory.

I love the idea that time is not linear, but a continuous loop where it’s all interconnected.

I’m a bit mesmerised by the “fourth tense” the Yolngu people of Australia’s north-east Arnhem Land have embedded into language and cultural stories where the past, present and future are happening simultaneously.

Dreaming our goals into being feels kind of magical, no?

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PS: I’m also dreaming into being a thing I’m currently calling ‘The Journalling Thingo’ - coming in 2025 - themed monthly journalling prompts designed to help you access self-belief, psychological flexibility and courage through the magic of self-reflection. More soon!