I don't consume any news. I feel better because of it.
I do get the news. I get it face to face from real people and I get to have a connection while I am receiving it. If it's important enough someone in my daily life will mention it and I get to ask them about what's happened. I don't have to see images about it and I don't have to get angry at a screen.
Of course this is not for everybody.
From this place I tell myself that the world will change (or it won't) because of those people up there whether I know about it or not. The helplessness tells me that there's nothing I can do about it either way, and to spend my energy looking after myself enough to be kind and make other people's lives better where I can.
Sometimes this makes me feel pathetic and impotent when I engage with that attitude.
How can I see injustice in the world and not fight it? And then I tell myself that I don't have the resources to fight it... but I do fight it, subtley, every day by being me, subverting societal norms and seeking success for myself.
I don't know why I'm telling you this... just felt like a safe place to say it and maybe give someone here permission to stop reading the news if that would help them.
Love your thoughts Heather and yes full permission to STOP with the news!
I can see how we've - with largely good intentions - created a false equivalence of being informed with being 'virtuous'?! But really, there is no connection at all.
yes tears of fear & also alot of sadness for a world that is lost divided & at times cruel & ravaged with hate & the misinformation that is spreading day after day
I fear for those who are being singled out by the ignorant & arrogant & those in places of power because they are different than the narrative they want
These souls will take nothing from anyone but many don’t let that get in the way of their distorted misinformed ugly stories
And in my sadness & anger this is when I remind myself alone I can’t fix it all
I’m exhausted from many things & a little lost as to where I belong & where home is for me so it’s time to stop & not run just yet
your words helped to remind me of that & it is time to step back a little to quiet the mind and take time to write to read to sit by the fire with the dogs walk on the beach & to not loose sight of my plans & hopes and insure not to get buried in the noise & hate
To be kind to ourselves so we can support & join collectively to make a difference how ever that will look in our corners & communities is important
I know I want the conversations we need to have & then create new answers and ways to live together in a world that has been created for all not a select few
that compassion can come from listening to others stories rather than judging
I've found it so helpful to imagine that there are millions of us standing in a line, building the world we want to live in - and our work is right in front of us - it might be parenting, friendship, how we talk to our neighbours and colleagues, where we donate, unravelling our own unconscious bias' our own unhelpful protective stories - it ALL counts, it all contributes. Knowing that there are millions on either side means on the days when we need to take care of ourselves, we can do that because we've all got each other.
Beautifully put! I'm in Germany and I used to try and not get too agitated about what's going on in the other side of the pond (mostly futile attempt, but I managed to keep it in check) - but the influence of these greedy bullies is revervaratibg around the whole world and now these disgusting tech bros are bringing the fight sqarely into my country. The absolutely brazen impertinence of Musk to use the worst of our history - my grandparents' and their families' and communities' experiences and stories - and then turn around and openly and blatantly meddle in our affais and tell German people to vote for a far-right party ... I cried tears of rage yesterday and I'm stepping up to fight these bullies and revisionists and hatemongers in whatever way I can. And one of these ways is to not do it on their battlefield of drama, escalation and pretend-logic. I'm leaning into rest and breath and community and magic and mutual aid. And we will create creative and resilient and sustainable ways to resists and to build a better world for everyone. Thank you for your wise words and reminders. ♥️💯
Sas, I think you're wonderful. I've read your work for a long time, maybe nearing a decade? Perhaps I'm the only one on your email list that doesn't resonate with this post, but I truly don't. Like many of my age mates, I was devastated when Donald Trump won the presidency in 2016. I cried in disbelief while wearing a T-shirt with an illustration on it of Hillary Clinton wearing a flower crown that said "President of My Heart." Literally. But in the meantime, many things have caused me to reappraise those tears. I'm not devastated that he was elected this time. I'm actually hopeful. Despite having a degree in Women's Studies, I have left behind the concepts of "white feminism" etc as they just don't resonate in a meaningful way to me anymore. Maybe it's because of my work in a neonatal ICU where I witness the utter devastation that visits families equally that has nothing to do with age, race, color, or creed. I used to find the categories instructive and felt like my awareness of them was helping. Not so much anymore. Heart to heart is how I move now. It's not like I forget that the world is unfair and unequal. I know it is. But I feel it disconnects me further from others when I lead with categorization.
I guess all I mean to say is that some of your readers are not sad that Donald Trump was elected. I won't go into all my personal reasons here but I'm a reasonable person and I considered what he had to say and found it more compelling than what Kamala Harris had to say. I actually did not vote for Donald Trump but I prefer him to Harris. I read her memoir and found her to be an interesting person who has championed some causes I agreed with, but she did not articulate positions on issues that I resonated with when she was campaigning.
Anyways, that's all. I think I'm just reacting to a sentiment I have seen over and over in my inbox the past few weeks--honestly not specific to you--that had an undertone of "we are all bummed about this but we should try to see some positives." Recipient on your email list not bummed at all over here, actually! 🤷🏻♀️
I appreciate your comment - truly. And you are clearly in the majority of your fellow Americans, so I am sure there are many reading along who share your sentiments.
I am hopeful too, actually, just not because he is in the white house - I am hopeful of our communal resistance to what he stands for. He is a bully who punches down - so anyone who is marginalised will bare the brunt. I am genuinely curious as to why you prefer him.
I don't think Harris or Clinton were particularly compelling candidates either - far too establishment for me. But given the options, I do believe they would have represented the people - not just the people who agree with him.
I think a lot of how I viewed Trump in his first presidency and beyond came from the media outlets I was tuned into. Something that shifted my view of him (this was a recent shift!) was when I watched the full press conference in which he talked about Charlottesville. The sound bite was "very fine people on both sides" which I felt was an abhorrent thing to say. It was only a few months ago that I watched the press conference. He denounces the white supremacists full stop. Take a gander for yourself.
I just felt like, oh shit, I actually have no idea what I think of this man, all I know about him is filtered through cable news and pundits.
And on the flip side, I watched a lot of Kamala Harris' appearances on the trail, looking for something that would give me confidence in her platform. But she really flopped. I don't doubt that she is a good person and a cool auntie and I think she and I would get along swimmingly. But I'm voting for policy positions, not a fun hang.
When RFK Jr. endorsed Trump, I had to give him a second look. RFK Jr centered some of the most important things to me in his campaign--processed foods, artificial dyes, GMOs, childrens health, sensible positions on sex/gender. I have a child with health issues. I unfortunately have to be dialed into what's in his food and what kinds of pesticides are on crops, etc because I will do anything to improve his health. He has had health problems that stemmed from medical treatments. It's been enough to open my mind to anyone who might prioritize these things that are so critical to me.
In terms of gender, I'm all for people dressing however they want, marry whoever they want, call themselves whichever name they want, live and let live. There are limits in this material world though and since sex cannot truly be changed, people's needs must be balanced. I recently got a new coworker who is a transwoman. This coworker is now changing in the (very tiny!) women's changing room where we all undress and put on our scrubs. To some, this is fair and right and progress. And the other side of the coin is another nurse changing in the same room who hears a male voice when her pants are down and goes into a cold sweat. It's not simple. It's not. And people who want to say it is are likely not the ones with their pants down at work.
The democratic party went very wide on the gender stuff. Too wide. I voted for Joe Biden so happily. It's only been in the last 4 years that the democrats lost me. Ketanji Brown Jackson said she couldn't define the word woman because she's not a biologist. Come on. The democrats lost this election to Trump on common sense.
I look forward to seeing what might come of RFK Jr. as secretary of HHS. He has had an impressive career as an environmental attorney and he has dedicated his life to improving the health of children, even when it meant being publicly shamed and lambasted for asking reasonable questions.
I will continue to follow your work, (I hope you don't mind!). I think you're wonderful and I love your message about self doubt and being courageous. I don't feel we have to agree on any of these points for me to appreciate what you're all about. Blessings to you. 💕 🕊️ ✌🏼
Thank you Sas for all you said and said with your characteristic grace and humor. I truly appreciate that we do need to prioritize ourselves to have the resources to imagine the world we want to create. I think that was one of the biggest lessons from the white feminism of the 60’s (from which I have benefited) - our goal then was equal access to the white male power structures instead of creating a completely new framework that would include everyone everywhere, that could address historical wrongs and inequities while caring for one another. A world that responded with kindness, was informed by all stakeholders’ wisdom to address challenges old and new, that looked into the future while learning from our collective history. At 65 years old, I do not believe it is too late. The genocides in which we are all complicit have invited us to recognize our shared humanity and to work together in a way I have not seen before in my lifetime. This is a new chapter building on the hard work, sacrifices and joys of those who have preceded us.
Each of us is needed ideally fully alive, fully present and fully able to rest and retreat.
Thank you Sas for your voice, your wisdom and your courage. For holding the boths and the ands, for seeing the vast need and also seeing we’ve had enough martyrs. Now we need marathoners, we need to go for the long haul and that will necessitate caring for ourselves and one another in ways that may be unfamiliar and uncomfortable. And did I mention the belly laughs, excellent food, live music, fresh air, animal familiars and art?
I do agree that some of these issues are complex and messy - and I am so sorry about your son - that sounds exhausting. Of course you want to advocate for him.
I agree no mainstream media outlet is without bias, he has been quite transparent (if often utterly chaotic) about his stance on these issues. I just don’t believe Trump has the ability to understand the complexity or to address these issues with compassion - for me this goes beyond ideology and gets to the heart of how we want to treat each other.
All to say - yes of course we can disagree! I am glad you are here x
I don't consume any news. I feel better because of it.
I do get the news. I get it face to face from real people and I get to have a connection while I am receiving it. If it's important enough someone in my daily life will mention it and I get to ask them about what's happened. I don't have to see images about it and I don't have to get angry at a screen.
Of course this is not for everybody.
From this place I tell myself that the world will change (or it won't) because of those people up there whether I know about it or not. The helplessness tells me that there's nothing I can do about it either way, and to spend my energy looking after myself enough to be kind and make other people's lives better where I can.
Sometimes this makes me feel pathetic and impotent when I engage with that attitude.
How can I see injustice in the world and not fight it? And then I tell myself that I don't have the resources to fight it... but I do fight it, subtley, every day by being me, subverting societal norms and seeking success for myself.
I don't know why I'm telling you this... just felt like a safe place to say it and maybe give someone here permission to stop reading the news if that would help them.
Love your thoughts Heather and yes full permission to STOP with the news!
I can see how we've - with largely good intentions - created a false equivalence of being informed with being 'virtuous'?! But really, there is no connection at all.
Thank you for writing this, it is exactly the message I needed to be reminded of today.
So glad this helped lovely x
Damn Sass! Way to represent. So much love to you!!!
SMOOCHES!
Thank you for these words - perfectly encapsulates what so many of us are feeling right now!! Xx
You are so welcome - writing helps me so much to figure out my feels so its a beautiful old circle xx
Beautifully written
And as I was reading it I cried
yes tears of fear & also alot of sadness for a world that is lost divided & at times cruel & ravaged with hate & the misinformation that is spreading day after day
I fear for those who are being singled out by the ignorant & arrogant & those in places of power because they are different than the narrative they want
These souls will take nothing from anyone but many don’t let that get in the way of their distorted misinformed ugly stories
And in my sadness & anger this is when I remind myself alone I can’t fix it all
I’m exhausted from many things & a little lost as to where I belong & where home is for me so it’s time to stop & not run just yet
your words helped to remind me of that & it is time to step back a little to quiet the mind and take time to write to read to sit by the fire with the dogs walk on the beach & to not loose sight of my plans & hopes and insure not to get buried in the noise & hate
To be kind to ourselves so we can support & join collectively to make a difference how ever that will look in our corners & communities is important
I know I want the conversations we need to have & then create new answers and ways to live together in a world that has been created for all not a select few
that compassion can come from listening to others stories rather than judging
But I will not be silenced through fear of
Bullies & their misinformation
But it’s taking one gentle thoughtful step
YES to all of this for you, love.
I've found it so helpful to imagine that there are millions of us standing in a line, building the world we want to live in - and our work is right in front of us - it might be parenting, friendship, how we talk to our neighbours and colleagues, where we donate, unravelling our own unconscious bias' our own unhelpful protective stories - it ALL counts, it all contributes. Knowing that there are millions on either side means on the days when we need to take care of ourselves, we can do that because we've all got each other.
❤️and this is how we do it xx
Uff. Everything I needed to read today, love ♥️
Love this. Perfection x
Beautifully put! I'm in Germany and I used to try and not get too agitated about what's going on in the other side of the pond (mostly futile attempt, but I managed to keep it in check) - but the influence of these greedy bullies is revervaratibg around the whole world and now these disgusting tech bros are bringing the fight sqarely into my country. The absolutely brazen impertinence of Musk to use the worst of our history - my grandparents' and their families' and communities' experiences and stories - and then turn around and openly and blatantly meddle in our affais and tell German people to vote for a far-right party ... I cried tears of rage yesterday and I'm stepping up to fight these bullies and revisionists and hatemongers in whatever way I can. And one of these ways is to not do it on their battlefield of drama, escalation and pretend-logic. I'm leaning into rest and breath and community and magic and mutual aid. And we will create creative and resilient and sustainable ways to resists and to build a better world for everyone. Thank you for your wise words and reminders. ♥️💯
I feel this so much and your rage is so sacred, Anna, Standing right beside you xx
Sas, I think you're wonderful. I've read your work for a long time, maybe nearing a decade? Perhaps I'm the only one on your email list that doesn't resonate with this post, but I truly don't. Like many of my age mates, I was devastated when Donald Trump won the presidency in 2016. I cried in disbelief while wearing a T-shirt with an illustration on it of Hillary Clinton wearing a flower crown that said "President of My Heart." Literally. But in the meantime, many things have caused me to reappraise those tears. I'm not devastated that he was elected this time. I'm actually hopeful. Despite having a degree in Women's Studies, I have left behind the concepts of "white feminism" etc as they just don't resonate in a meaningful way to me anymore. Maybe it's because of my work in a neonatal ICU where I witness the utter devastation that visits families equally that has nothing to do with age, race, color, or creed. I used to find the categories instructive and felt like my awareness of them was helping. Not so much anymore. Heart to heart is how I move now. It's not like I forget that the world is unfair and unequal. I know it is. But I feel it disconnects me further from others when I lead with categorization.
I guess all I mean to say is that some of your readers are not sad that Donald Trump was elected. I won't go into all my personal reasons here but I'm a reasonable person and I considered what he had to say and found it more compelling than what Kamala Harris had to say. I actually did not vote for Donald Trump but I prefer him to Harris. I read her memoir and found her to be an interesting person who has championed some causes I agreed with, but she did not articulate positions on issues that I resonated with when she was campaigning.
Anyways, that's all. I think I'm just reacting to a sentiment I have seen over and over in my inbox the past few weeks--honestly not specific to you--that had an undertone of "we are all bummed about this but we should try to see some positives." Recipient on your email list not bummed at all over here, actually! 🤷🏻♀️
I appreciate your comment - truly. And you are clearly in the majority of your fellow Americans, so I am sure there are many reading along who share your sentiments.
I am hopeful too, actually, just not because he is in the white house - I am hopeful of our communal resistance to what he stands for. He is a bully who punches down - so anyone who is marginalised will bare the brunt. I am genuinely curious as to why you prefer him.
I don't think Harris or Clinton were particularly compelling candidates either - far too establishment for me. But given the options, I do believe they would have represented the people - not just the people who agree with him.
I think a lot of how I viewed Trump in his first presidency and beyond came from the media outlets I was tuned into. Something that shifted my view of him (this was a recent shift!) was when I watched the full press conference in which he talked about Charlottesville. The sound bite was "very fine people on both sides" which I felt was an abhorrent thing to say. It was only a few months ago that I watched the press conference. He denounces the white supremacists full stop. Take a gander for yourself.
I just felt like, oh shit, I actually have no idea what I think of this man, all I know about him is filtered through cable news and pundits.
And on the flip side, I watched a lot of Kamala Harris' appearances on the trail, looking for something that would give me confidence in her platform. But she really flopped. I don't doubt that she is a good person and a cool auntie and I think she and I would get along swimmingly. But I'm voting for policy positions, not a fun hang.
When RFK Jr. endorsed Trump, I had to give him a second look. RFK Jr centered some of the most important things to me in his campaign--processed foods, artificial dyes, GMOs, childrens health, sensible positions on sex/gender. I have a child with health issues. I unfortunately have to be dialed into what's in his food and what kinds of pesticides are on crops, etc because I will do anything to improve his health. He has had health problems that stemmed from medical treatments. It's been enough to open my mind to anyone who might prioritize these things that are so critical to me.
In terms of gender, I'm all for people dressing however they want, marry whoever they want, call themselves whichever name they want, live and let live. There are limits in this material world though and since sex cannot truly be changed, people's needs must be balanced. I recently got a new coworker who is a transwoman. This coworker is now changing in the (very tiny!) women's changing room where we all undress and put on our scrubs. To some, this is fair and right and progress. And the other side of the coin is another nurse changing in the same room who hears a male voice when her pants are down and goes into a cold sweat. It's not simple. It's not. And people who want to say it is are likely not the ones with their pants down at work.
The democratic party went very wide on the gender stuff. Too wide. I voted for Joe Biden so happily. It's only been in the last 4 years that the democrats lost me. Ketanji Brown Jackson said she couldn't define the word woman because she's not a biologist. Come on. The democrats lost this election to Trump on common sense.
I look forward to seeing what might come of RFK Jr. as secretary of HHS. He has had an impressive career as an environmental attorney and he has dedicated his life to improving the health of children, even when it meant being publicly shamed and lambasted for asking reasonable questions.
I will continue to follow your work, (I hope you don't mind!). I think you're wonderful and I love your message about self doubt and being courageous. I don't feel we have to agree on any of these points for me to appreciate what you're all about. Blessings to you. 💕 🕊️ ✌🏼
Thank you Sas for all you said and said with your characteristic grace and humor. I truly appreciate that we do need to prioritize ourselves to have the resources to imagine the world we want to create. I think that was one of the biggest lessons from the white feminism of the 60’s (from which I have benefited) - our goal then was equal access to the white male power structures instead of creating a completely new framework that would include everyone everywhere, that could address historical wrongs and inequities while caring for one another. A world that responded with kindness, was informed by all stakeholders’ wisdom to address challenges old and new, that looked into the future while learning from our collective history. At 65 years old, I do not believe it is too late. The genocides in which we are all complicit have invited us to recognize our shared humanity and to work together in a way I have not seen before in my lifetime. This is a new chapter building on the hard work, sacrifices and joys of those who have preceded us.
Each of us is needed ideally fully alive, fully present and fully able to rest and retreat.
Thank you Sas for your voice, your wisdom and your courage. For holding the boths and the ands, for seeing the vast need and also seeing we’ve had enough martyrs. Now we need marathoners, we need to go for the long haul and that will necessitate caring for ourselves and one another in ways that may be unfamiliar and uncomfortable. And did I mention the belly laughs, excellent food, live music, fresh air, animal familiars and art?
Yes to marathoning right beside you Mary!
I do agree that some of these issues are complex and messy - and I am so sorry about your son - that sounds exhausting. Of course you want to advocate for him.
I agree no mainstream media outlet is without bias, he has been quite transparent (if often utterly chaotic) about his stance on these issues. I just don’t believe Trump has the ability to understand the complexity or to address these issues with compassion - for me this goes beyond ideology and gets to the heart of how we want to treat each other.
All to say - yes of course we can disagree! I am glad you are here x
I’m with you!
STANDING OVATION!!!
Wonderful thanks Sas. Great long view...